When you know your worth,
no one can make you feel worthless.
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Truth: I have been burned very badly by my past relationship. It was and still is a pretty messy break up.
I decided to take a HUGE hiatus from having a relationship. I feel like it is completely OK to be selfish right now. We can take time to focus on ourselves, our bodies, our mind, our careers. Everything we need to focus on we can without the hassle or worry about another person.
I am so used to sharing everything and so used to having someone around. However, in reality I am my own person and if I can't enjoy the tranquility of being alone... How can I possibly enjoy being with someone else?
I like to think of it like this: being single is not a social status or label. It's a word that best describes a person whom is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending or needing others.
Being single gives you the time to know yourself and God. Meaning, when we are alone we have time to develop ourselves and our beliefs. We have enough time to focus on our self-awareness and confidence. To be perfectly honest, when we have a strong sense of who we are and are confident, it is so much more attractive then to always be needing that other person saying it for us. I think if we spent more time developing ourselves into the right person, instead of always looking to find that "next right person," we would be so much more happier. Lets face it, who doesn't enjoy some ME time? Take this time to reflect, let go, and be amazing to yourself.
Take this time to really let go. Yes, I still have very fond memories of him. However, it is in the past and I need to stop clinging to those thoughts. Like I said in my previous post, if it hasn't gotten better, chances are they never will. Although those memories are nice, it didn't work out for a reason. If we don't take this time to let go, we will never appreciate our present or our future.
When we lose everything we are finally free to find out what we are missing. Trust me, when he walked away, I seriously thought I lost everything. Here I am, pregnant, new environment, not knowing anyone... I felt so alone. I can't even begin to start telling you how many tears I've cried night after night. Now that I'm single, I can focus on all the things I put off while I was putting all my efforts and energy into my relationship. I can finally start doing the things that I love (photography, hiking, adventuring) while enjoying myself and feeling complete.
Change, although sometimes scary, is always good. I am not going to fib to you, change is terrifying. Adapting takes times, moving on takes time, letting go takes time and they all involve time and change. Although it's a scary thought, I am already thinking about all the possibilities. Finally finishing school, starting a new and exciting career that helps change and heal others. Sometimes the scariest thing for us, like change, is the best possible thing for us.
Just because we're single doesn't mean we have to be afraid of love. As a massage therapist, I have been taught to welcome everyone with unconditional loving acceptance. Which is so true, to help heal others, we have to love them unconditionally without an agenda. I won't be the first and I know I will not be the last, but, my tiny little heart has been bashed, bruised, and broken. However, I don't let that stop me from loving people. I do hope that the next person will treasure and treat my heart with love and respect that I know it deserves.
When we are open to love we are open to life.
Something better will come but only if you're open to it. I always find that when something bad happens I tend to concentrate or focus on the negative. Trust me if you read or knew some of the things I've talked about, I sound like a negative Nancy. But owning up my own story in such an honest way is probably the bravest thing I can ever do. We often forget that there is something positive somewhere in the chaos. The only way to know happiness (present or future) is to ultimately be open.
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