How a non-believer came back to Christ.

I don't normally share this part of my life but, this year has been my turning point in my faith and it has been a crazy and emotional year!

I've always been a Christian and raised in church, and tired my hardest to be a good follower of Christ. But the last six years have been difficult for me. With more tears and heartache that I would like to admit and with all the emotional and physical abuse I endured had lead me away from God. 

For a while I even questioned why. Why was God being so mean to me? I began to wonder if there was really a God. Because why on earth would he have let so much heartache happen to someone so young. 

It was like I was a tiny ant and God was the cruel child putting a magnifying glass on me only burning me enough to keep me alive. And that's what it had felt like for so many years. I felt like God just wasn't on my side at all and I finally started to not believe anymore.

 After my mom died and my marriage crumbled, I ran wild seeking love from anyone and it was always the wrong kind of love. I let people abuse me mentally and physically thinking it was love. I put myself in a bad situation that left me broken and it was that very moment that ultimately led me to give my life to God and trusting him fully.

This time last year, it was Mothers Day and this person who was in my life put me in a situation that I was honestly terrified of. They promised me a lot of things to keep me, they lied to me, they abused me emotionally and took advantage of me. When it finally ended I was devastated, confused and broken. But that's what the enemy does to us, they break us, make us feel unworthy, and suffocate us with so much darkness it makes us feel like there is no hope. That we will never get help or see the light.

 At the time I wasn't seeing God, I was being pushed further and further away from God and what He wanted for me. I was too busy making someone else my savior and bible. I was at an all time low when it came to an end and what I didn't realize at that moment was that, when God closes one door he opens another.

But I had to surrender myself to the right person, and that right person is God. And when I surrendered myself to him completely, he healed me and he blessed me. When I was hungry, he fed me. When I was upset or scared, he used the most random people to give me scriptures of comfort. He opened the door that I thought would never open because honestly, I'm a sinner. I sin. And growing up, I was told that God hates sinners, that we were dammed to hell. And that terrified me so much I stayed in the dark.

However, when I  finally let go and just said "OK God, I give it all to you" He opened the door with so much love and warmth. 

In Romans 5:8 God says: I love you even at your darkest. And that's when I realized that God doesn't hate sinners, nor are we dammed to hell. He loves us even at our most darkest of time.And he gave me so much love too, love that I thought was gone, love that I thought I would never have again after my mom died.

I not mad or angry with that person that put me in that situation because ultimately, they taught me just how strong I really am. I stopped relying on others and instead put faith in God and in myself. They forced me to have courage and to be brave even in the most scariest of situations. Because going from not believing and being angry in and with God to believing and forgiving is a pretty scary thing. I mean that's a pretty big deal and leap of faith.

I look at how far I've come and the things I've been able to accomplish since putting my trust and faith with God. I'll be truthful though, sometimes I wonder where I would be if I were still in that toxic environment. But truthfully, I'm thankful it ended when it did and how it did because I needed to be broken and my world turned upside down in order to turn to God and become the person that I need to be and who he wanted me to be.

Thank you God for loving me through my sin, through my darkest moments and through my brokenness.

God can restore what is broken 

and change it into something amazing.

All you need is Faith.

Joel 2:25

10 Inspiring Quotes on Love

Like any woman, I love to hear how much my significant other cares about me. Here are ten other great quotes on love I found to inspire you today- enjoy. 

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. If was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." 

"I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours." -Nicholas Sparks

"It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does." -Peter McWilliams

Brief is life but love is long." -Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Love is the beauty of the soul." -St. Aurelius Augustine

"We loved with a love that was more than love." -Edgar Allen Poe

"Love is friendship set on fire." -Jeremy Taylor

There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."- Emily Bronte

"Love; it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you. It will set you free." -Mumford & Sons

"You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear." -Oscar Wilde

If you find a quote you love or think of one yourself, write it down and text a "love quote" (the new love note) to your partner while they're at work. It's a quick, personal way to say I love you! 

What's your favorite quote on love? Share with me in the comments below! 

Prayers for the Satterfield Family.

This post has been really difficult to type.

Words cannot express the magnitude of the heartache that is with my family right now.

Due to a tragic accident Zakiah was in critical condition and unresponsive. Medic worked very hard to save him but ultimately our great Lord took Zakiah to heaven to be with his beloved pets, Layla and Oreo.

 Zakiah was a member of Faith Promise Church and enjoyed having deep conversations about God. He was in the Third Grade and embraced every opportunity to learn. He played football for Maryville Lil Rebs and Southerners. Zakiah was incredibly intelligent beyond his years and an amazing big brother and friend. He was a defender of others and an advocate for his beliefs.

He was passionate, kind and caring in everything he did. He loved the outdoor and shooting his bow. He cherished his time hunting with his Papaw. He was a music lover and enjoyed listening and writing his own songs. Not to mention he had a deep and profound love for his Mama.

Zakiah was truly loved by so many people, and it shows by the sheer multitude of generosity of prayers, kind words and donations from those in the community. I cannot express how thankful I am to all those who have donated.

Whew! An Actual Update!

Hey lovelies!

Sorry that I've been so MIA lately, we are still trying to "move in" our new house LOL! We've been here for a month now and we still somewhat live out of boxes. Haha I'm not used to having so much house that honestly, I'm not really sure what to do with it all! Someone please come help me figure it out!

Besides trying to unpack, I've been busy with tons of DIY projects! The current non-endless craft project are my eldest children's rooms and I finally finished painting their rooms two weeks ago (before and after photos to come at a later time). It's just been a really slooow process with finding those perfect (or not to perfect) pieces for their rooms.

On top of that, I'm hoping my war with PCOS is coming to a close (*fingers crossed*). I finally had a period naturally. Which is something I'm over the moon for because I hate taking medicine! It also means we are seriously one step closer to being able to TTC. However, last week I did have an ultrasound of my uterus and they did find something (but are unsure what) in there. So, I am scheduled for a hystoscopy and D&C Tuesday of next week. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time  because, Ezra will be a year in June and we have been given the green light to start trying for baby #4 then if we want. Which is awesome and I'm super stoked about it but, I have SO much on my plate right now.

For about two years now, it has been one of my dreams to start a women's ministry. My ultimate goal is to help women of all types and ages discover their strength and worth and the love Jesus Christ has for them. Through sharing the stories of other women who have struggled with everything from adoption, domestic violence, and life in general (because it's hard) I hope to help empower women. Because you are not alone, you are loved, you have been since conception in your mothers womb. You were fearfully and wonderfully made and there is a whole group of amazing women ready to share their story honestly and openly in hopes to help and encourage you. If you are reading this and you would like to share your story and how God helped you triumph; please feel free to contact me. I would love to talk with you and share your story!

Other than that, everything has pretty much been mellow. I hope you all have a blessed Friday and weekend!

much love,

Thoughts Of An Adopted Child : Dealing, forgiveness and acceptance.

GREAT NEWS!

I can finally share this picture because it's official... We bought our first house!! Lots of work to be done, but we are so excited. Ah I can't wait to share more with all of you! Praise God for sending us this little gem. #homeowners #foreverbroke #praisegod

Ezra Lee; 7 Months In Review

Seven months.. has it really been seven months already? You are growing up way too quickly and I want you to stay this sweet cuddly little baby forever. HAHA I can dream, right?

("Mom, you can't be serious.")

Graduate.

Tomorrow, I graduate... tomorrow. to-mo-rrow.  t o m o r r o w.

Tomorrow is my last time researching, typing and handing in my Kizer and Case Study. This is the last night of (countless all nighters) studying. Tomorrow will be the last time I open those double doors, walk to the office to get my tardy slip (that's life with two school age kids), walk through the hallway to my class and sit with my class mates.

This has been a long and transforming year at Southeastern. I've seen so many people come and go. However on this day, the day that I have been patiently waiting for; it's finally here and the feeling is so surreal.

This has been a year of struggle, hope, and finding my own confidence. Not only have I helped others but they also helped me. In helping heal others my own self was healed in a way that I would have never thought of. But trust me, there were many times where out of pure frustration, I seriously wanted to quit and give up like most thing in life that I've done. But hallelujah! I never gave up, I think a lot of it has to do with the positive and encouraging people who not only attend the school but also the people who work there too.

My instructors, though they were hard on me at times, really pushed me to be a better healer and therapist. I learned to take criticism better and worked harder. I learned to ask questions even when I often turned red from embarrassed. But I also stood up for my instructors too.

Life, growing up and being an adult is never easy and sometimes you really need a reality check. Being an adult isn't about who did what or who posted that on facebook. If you really want something, it takes pure dedication to achieve it. I have always said this to fellow classmates and I will continue to say this: if you want respect you have to give it and in return you earn respect back.

It's true I have so much respect for my instructors and because of this they were more willing to help me when I asked for it. Believe me too, there were several times where I would have to stay after class.

If you want to learn or understand something you have to take the initiative. My instructors really love what they do and it showed. It was never about a paycheck (though it's nice), they genuinely wanted you to know and love your craft. They want you to be successful and strive in this hard world.

Tomorrow, I will be the first person at Southeastern to graduate from the massage therapy program who has had a baby in the middle of the program, gone on maternity leave and came back to graduate. To be honest this will be the first time I actually finished a medical program.

I seriously should have been an RN tenth fold already for as many times as I started and stopped the program. I was actually in the middle of transferring to a prestigious medical school here for their RN program when I decided to quit all together. Most people look at me crazy when they learn that I even for fitted a full ride scholarship. I'll admit, I let all the wrong reasons, things and even people get in the way of that.

But tomorrow, as I take my victory walk,  I want to say a little thank you. To all the nay sayers, the doubters, and anyone who said I wouldn't finish; thank you for being the fire under my ass to finish. And thank you, to the people at Southeastern for believing in me. :)

The War With PCOS

I just want a period.

I want my body to ovulate, shed its lining and bleed like it is supposed to. Is that to much to be asking for? Seriously, for Christmas all I want is for my body to straighten up, bleed on its own and without the need of medicine. 

Gosh I remember when I used to hate having my period, now I would do anything just to have one. The things we take for granted. 

All these medicines do crazy things to my body symptom wise. I can't handle Provera, I started Progesterone 200mg and I feel like I'm drunk.  I tired birth control at the lowest dose they could give me. The crazy mood swings and constant bleeding (going from no bleeding to constant non stop bleeding) was too overwhelming.

Then there is my weight issue, they keep telling me if I lose the weight I can reverse PCOS but if my hormones are already out of whack then how am I to lose the weight? Because hormones and weight are linked together after all.

I feel like the odds are forever against me.

I was supposed to have had a D&C done a while back but that never happened. Instead when I went and saw the OBGYN that my midwife referred me to for the consult, he only prescribed me more medicine. My midwife had seen some polyps in my uterus along with the thick lining and thought it would be in my best interest if I had a hystoscopy and D&C done. No one has even looked at my previous uterine ultrasounds, or even discussed polyps and other things my midwife found when she did the saline solution ultrasound (which those suck by the way).

So now I'm wondering: do I really have PCOS OR is there something else that is causing my body to not be able to menstruate on its own? 

I'm going to call in the morning to another OBGYN at a different hospital to get my third (really second) opinion. I feel like the other doctor didn't do much just said "yeah whatever, take these pills and see me in a few months."

I'm getting so tried of putting junk into my body that's really doing more harm to me than good. Yes, I am getting a period but at what cost? 

I work in the medical field and I always hear ladies complain about getting their periods. OK I get it, sometimes it's a little inconvenient when you aren't prepared for it. But complaining about it to someone who suffers from PCOS, is like waving sugar in front of a diabetic. We want it but we can't have it; unless we suffer the consequences to have it:

 (Progesterone 200mg taken at night days 14-28)

I mean look at this gigantic horse pill I have to take at bed time! I think that if I don't eat a big/heavy meal or take it drinking a full bottle of water the dizzy/drunk/vertigo feeling is much worse. The drinking of the full bottle of water before bed makes my bladder angry and I'm staggering around the house in middle of the night like a young college girl again. Where's the bathroom again? There's a light around here somewhere! 

The medicine makes me feel tired during the day. I am normally very productive during the day but the days that I have to take this medicine I was just so tired. Ezra sleeps through the night; 9 hours of snuggly sleeping baby bliss. So there isn't a lack of sleep, just one (of its many) crazy symptom of this medicine. 

-Annie

You Are Lovely: Day 2 : Setting Goals

Day two of my 356 project and I'm already feeling motivated. I am excited about all the changes I'm making however, I understand that sometimes I  will have set backs. I know that there may be times that I may get frustrated, and I'm accepting of that. This isn't something that is going to be instant, no matter how much I want it to be. I have to work hard and lovingly for this. I wont lie though, if I could snap my fingers, be skinny and happier with myself, I probably would have done it by now. 

One of the rules that I've set for myself, is omitting the word  'can't'. I'm completely throwing this word out of my vocabulary. This is also turn all of my negatives into positives, no more looking down on myself, and no more wishing about thing .This is the time that I'm actually going to DO things!

Today I sat myself down and set an ideal goal of what I would like to weigh by the end of this project. I've also decided to post pictures of my progress (though as embarrassed as I am). This will help me to work even harder, stay on track and be motivated. I want to feel just as beautiful on the outside as I do on the inside.

I'm going to make a weight chart and update it each week at weigh in to help further along my progress. I do better when I can see it, chart it and write it out. This goes for everything that I do, I'm more of a visual processor. The weight chart will be pretty simple because I don't want to make this too overly complicated. It'll be pretty simple, I'll fill in to the weight I am until I have reached my goal weight. 

I think I've set a manageable goal: giving myself three hundred sixty-five days and that's more than enough time. I know that I have to stay positive in order to fight through any uncertainties that I may have. 

You Are Lovely Project: Day 1 : Realization & Free 8x10 Printable

To help me on my journey to becoming lovely, I am not going to hold anything back, even as much as it may embarrass me.This 365 day project is for me and my journey to a healthier more body positive me. I know that I need to be more honest with myself, specially when it comes my emotional and physical health.

Motherhood drains me emotionally and physically, and I often get envious of these other blogger mommies. They all seem to have it under control and are calm, cool and collective. While I'm over here with my hair a mess, children with dirty faces and sticky hands. As I sigh and say to myself "Well, at least they made it another day without killing each other." But I know I shouldn't be this hard on myself. I am doing the best I can, my kids have a great life and plenty of awesome memories even with how crazy it all may seem.

It's just that I pour my whole entire self into my children that I have nothing left for myself. I honestly leave absolutely nothing for myself, I am doubtful, hard and cruel to myself. I'm constantly beating myself up over not being the perfect "hot mom" that I feel like I should be. I strive to be the best mother possible that sometimes I try to be a little 'too perfect' (if there is such a thing). However, I'm so lucky that I have an amazing SO. He comes home and pours his all into me (even when I show some resistance). It's not that I take what he does for me for granted, it's just that I need to be able to do this too.

In order for me to take care of myself and have a more positive body image, I need to be a little selfish. Selfish to not give my entire being away but to save just enough of myself for myself. Selfish to take some time and discover my true loveliness and beauty. To love myself for who I am even on those days where everything seems to go wrong and I'm lucky to have showered. I want to fall in love with myself, while taking care of my mind, body and spirit.

I hope you enjoy this free 8x10 print as well. Just save, print and place into a 8x10 frame. :)

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Download your FREE 8x10 print HERE.

You Are Lovely Project : 365 Days To A Healthier Body Positive Me

I actually wanted to start this project last month, but lets be honest procrastination, being a momma to baby #3 and well, being a little lazy kept me putting this off. I have been struggling with my weight and body image ever since I was a teen and started having children. Starting this 356 project I hope to:

1. Have a better out look on my life.
2. Stress less.
3. Have healthier eating habits.
4. Be 50lbs lighter.
5. Worry less.
6. No longer be in a slump.
7. Encourage others on their journey to healthier living.
8. And above all else: Be ME, Be Lovely!

So why a 365 day project? 
It took me almost year to gain this weight. Yes I know, I was pregnant for 9 of those months. However, I've adopted some unhealthy eating habits post baby. So I know it will take me at least year to get the weight off by doing it the right and healthy way. Which means eating right, exercising, and loving myself and my body genuinely and unconditionally. Remember, it's not about perfection but about progress! Loving ourselves and our bodies with total genuine and unconditional acceptance.

Being lovely:
So here is where being lovely comes in, for the last few years I've battled the ugly demon of depression. The loss of my mother, a failed first marriage,and a emotionally abusive relationship really took a tole on my self-esteem and body image.  I wanted to start this project and take all the negativity and body shaming that I've experienced (from others and myself) and turn it into something positive.

By the end of this project I plan to be a healthier, happier, and (hopefully) lighter young woman. I have learned that we often lose ourselves when chaos occurs in our lives. This project is my attempt at becoming a more confident and body positive person and encouraging other on their journey as well.

I hope that as I share my triumphs (and sometimes defeats), I can inspire others as well as they go through their journey to a healthier lifestyle. So here it is:

You Are Lovely:  Project 365.

If you would like to join me on my project, please comment below or email me so that we can link to each others blog, track our progress and keep each other motivated. :)

Mystery Illness

Anthony is still struggling with his mystery illness. The Lyme disease medicine isn't working and only making his symptoms worse. So after a long conversation with me and then to his doctor, he decided to take himself off the medicine.

As I see it, what is the point of being on a medicine when there is no clear answer as to if he truly has Lyme's. Specially when the side-effects of the Medicine are what he already is experiencing prior to taking it and ultimately making his symptoms 100 times worse.

We did talk about him going off majority of the medicine that he's on to try to figure out which medicines are truly helping and which ones aren't. But it's a lot of medicine. 😒

I took Ezy to the pediatrician yesterday and it turns out that he could have a milk intolerance. His lungs are clear but his nasal pathways. We already struggled with formula and his spitting up but never thought that could cause the rattling and what he's going through. The doctor explained it to this way that due to him spitting up from having a sensitive stomac, the spit up is getting caught in his nasal pathways and causing the overactive mucous secretions. The doctor did give us the nasabulb to try:

                               

Haha I'm not sure how I feel about sucking mucous from my child's nose from my own mouth...but supposedly this thing works better then the suction bulb you get from the hospital or first aid kits. 

I have a sleep study next Wednesday, and to be honest I'm a little nervous about. This will be the first night away from all three littles and Anthony. Not saying that Anthony can't handle it or anything but I worry how the kids are going to react with their momma gone for a night. Yeah, I'm freaking out over one. night...I'll take a shower before I go and go to be early and maybe I'll ACTUALLY sleep! Because being a mom of three under 6 makes me a zombie and then going to school full time on top of that. I can't really remember the last time I was actually able to sleep without someone needing something in the middle of the night. 

-Annie

Reflections of 2015

2015 was a year of regret, hope, growth and realization. 

New friends were made while others were left behind. It was a year of discoveries, triumphs and disappointments. 

It was about self discovery and realization of just how strong I truly was. Bridges were made and some were burned. I discovered a lot of things, mainly what I did and didn't want and finding courage and comfort within my own self. Of accepting things that were unchangeable as they are. 

I experienced hurt, healing, and moving on and forward.

In my choices, I've helped people, but I've also hurt people too. However, I've learned that sometimes, no  matter how much you love someone... if the relationship is toxic, walking away is the one of the bravest and courageous things you could ever do.

I also walked away from faith but I've also come back on my knees to it. I learned that prayer works, but I've also learned that you have to pray about everything, every day. 

Sometimes the journey that God puts in front of you isn't always the prettiest or easiest. Sometimes it's the most ugliest experience, but sometimes in order to get where He wants you to be, you have to go through deep waters. But if you keep faith and give all of your worries and doubt onto him. He certainly does make things better.

Storms destroy things in their wake but they certainly don't last forever. They are needed sometimes to clear out all the junk and debris. They make you stronger and when you finally open your eyes to the clearing you find such beauty and hope for better things.

2016 is going to be a new exciting and wonderful journey. It's going to be my (and yours too) metamorphosis of lovely and shinning brightly. Of growing, learning and being true to ones self! 

It's easy to let your true colors shine when you are surrounded by postive people who truly love you. 

I wanted to thank you and everyone else who has helped me through these really tough times and situations this year, all the emails of positivity and support. I have so much appreciation for you all! 

So I hope 2016 is a wonderful, magical year filled with love, new discoveries and friendships for all of you! Happy New Year!

-Annie

When You Give Everything To God, He Will Bless you.

L O V E

bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

-First Corinthians 13:7

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If you have been with me through the course of this year on the Fresh Heart, then a lot of you know I went through a really rough and bad situation over the course of five/six-ish months. 

I am very open with my belief in God and my faith and thank Him every day for the amazing people he has brought into my life. As well as all the wonderful connections with those very same people He has brought me too. Even one that I never thought I would find, which is love. Not just smitten love, but true, real, and unconditional love. Not just for me but for my children as well.

I won't lie to anyone I was broken, very broken emotionally.

I talked and touched base about it often in my Knowing Your Self-Worth segments on my blog. I prayed for days, weeks, and months for God to bring me someone: my partner, my soul mate, my equal. Someone who was going to love and respect me and help me blossom even more. Not only in my faith with my God but emotionally as well. I knew that in order for this to happen, I had to give myself to Him fully. I had to wait and be patient while being calm and still. I know it wasn't just luck that brought me into the place that I am now, it was my prayers being answered. 

Out of no where, this big Italian man comes into my life and instead of tearing me down, walking in front of or over me, he walks beside me, cheering me on. He loves me through my faults and insecurities and didn't care that I had nothing to give.

After all, I was broken and I had no idea how to love or even how to trust anyone with anything that I had. All he wanted was me: good day, bad day, pretty, ugly whatever. He accepted me for all that I am. He loves me, not for what I can give him but for who I am on the inside: he loves my heart. The best part of all is, he accepts and loves my children. Which is something more than I could ever ask for. I highly believe it takes a real kind of person, I take that back, a real man to love another mans child/children.

He has been my cheerleader and brightens my day, he keeps me calm when I start to worry, anchors me with I get overwhelmed, and showers me with love and respect. He has given me everything and doesn't ask for anything in return. 

He has loved me through everything passionately and unconditionally. He has helped me heal and blossom and I am so very thankful for that. That my friends and dear readers is what true love is all about. 

I will be honest, it has taken a couple of bad apples and choices to get to him. However, I finally found the one my soul sings for and I couldn't be happier and I so owe it all to the glory of God because without Him and faith, none of this would be possible. 

heart emoticon

Know Your Self-Worth :: Toxic People

Keep people in your life who truly love you, motivate you, and make you happy.

If you know people who do none of these things, let them go.

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I've talked previously about letting go of relationships that don't serve you in a healthy manor. The month of May, I'm not even kidding you, was really about tests and learning lessons. I really had to do a lot of praying. Specially about the relationship that I had with a few individuals. 

I came to realize that the relationship that I had with these people, really wasn't good at all, mentally or emotionally. These people were actually pretty toxic for me, specially as I transitioned to healing and walking with God. Instead of building me up, they were always tearing me down. They were always trying to find a fault in me. It's like no matter what I said or all the good I did, they always found a way to make it unjustified or bad.

Lessons in May.

The month of May has been very tough for me. It has been a series full of tests. Tests that I should have given to God and walked away from but in all honesty ... I didn't. I am not ashamed to say or admit that I failed those tests miserably. But I am human and I'm still learning and every day there is a lesson to be learned. I just have to continue to give everything to God that worries me.

These last two and half weeks have been all about learning to be quiet, calm, still, and most importantly learning forgiveness and letting go. I've come to realize that when you have Christ you have everything you need. It just takes the faith to let him fight all battles and to keep your heart clean. 

Learning to let go completely has been the biggest struggle for me. It's not that I'm avoiding questions that are being asked, it's just that at this very moment, I need to be still. I need to be quiet, I need to be slow to speak and slow to become angry. I also need to stop sharing information with those who are not and shouldn't have been apart of the current situation in the first place. I should have been protecting my heart and seeking God then allowing others to dictate everything. 

I've always been one of those who have struggled with forgiving others. I know there is no limit to the number of times we are to forgive someone. Gods offer of forgiveness to anyone who asks for it is a great example to us. There is a parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:23, Jesus on the cross demonstrated ultimate forgiveness, and Stephen who forgave those who were stoning him in Acts 7:60.

Know Your Self-Worth :: Why It's OK To Be Single.

When you know your worth, 

no one can make you feel worthless. 

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Truth: I have been burned very badly by my past relationship. It was and still is a pretty messy break up.

I decided to take a HUGE hiatus from having a relationship. I feel like it is completely OK to be selfish right now. We can take time to focus on ourselves, our bodies, our mind, our careers. Everything we need to focus on we can without the hassle or worry about another person. 

Am I scared? In a way, yes.

Knowing Your Self-Worth:: Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships.

Blank.

The last two weeks have been crazy for me, I started my second job this week to try to help keep me busy. Then strife occurred that set me back quite a bit.

I have been praying hard these last two weeks. I know God has a plan through everything. It's just that sometimes, I wish those plans were not so difficult, or confusing, or sometimes disheartening. But I do know He never gives us too much that we cannot handle and surrounds us with unconditional love.

I wont lie, I have been angry.

As Christians, I believe (and this is my own opinion),  we are supposed to love everyone no matter what or how they have sinned. We are supposed to accept everyone and not cast judgment onto others. God is about love and acceptance. Not snubbing your nose down at someone simply because you feel a certain way about something.

We're supposed to inhale love, and exhale hate. Not every chance we get belittle someone into submission or have them thinking they are in the wrong when they did absolutely nothing in the first place. That is not what Christianity is about and it makes me so upset how some people can pick and choose parts when it doesn't agree to their life style how how they think a certain family member should behave.

We sin.

We all sin, now matter how much you want to hide it, it's true.

We are human and were given the gift of imperfection.