Keep people in your life who truly love you, motivate you, and make you happy.
If you know people who do none of these things, let them go.
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I've talked previously about letting go of relationships that don't serve you in a healthy manor. The month of May, I'm not even kidding you, was really about tests and learning lessons. I really had to do a lot of praying. Specially about the relationship that I had with a few individuals.
I came to realize that the relationship that I had with these people, really wasn't good at all, mentally or emotionally. These people were actually pretty toxic for me, specially as I transitioned to healing and walking with God. Instead of building me up, they were always tearing me down. They were always trying to find a fault in me. It's like no matter what I said or all the good I did, they always found a way to make it unjustified or bad.
Instead of helping these individuals were just making matters to a situation much worse. It's like they were craving for information. Any kind of information that they could get their hands on they tainted. Conversations were skewed and twisted and often taken out of context and proportion.
These people were constantly breaking me down and it escalated to the point where enough was enough. I had to finally say you know what, I just can't do this anymore. I cannot keep sitting here and allowing you to do this to me. And that's what it was, I was allowing these people to be cruel to me. I was allowing them to break me down and manipulate me in such a horrible way.
They made me feel like I was worthless, I often felt shamed, and wrong when in reality I actually wasn't. I was trying to survive and pick of up all the broken pieces and put them back together. I always felt like I was constantly under attack, because that's what toxic people do.
They break you down and make you feel worthless, shame, and fear. I was always stressed and worried about what they were going to do or say next. With people who constantly break you down like that, often we have trouble setting boundaries against their attacks and protecting ourselves. When we don't know our self-worth, that is when relationships like this become disastrous.
I quickly had to learn that when someone hurts me, disrespects me or even dishonors me, that person is just not safe. They are not healthy for me and must be pushed away, avoided, or cut off from completely. I really had to pray and ask God to show me what their true actions were.
When He lifted up the vial, I found out that I was surrounded by emotional vampires. They were constantly draining me emotionally and I allowed these individuals into my life. I allowed them to have their way with my heart and I had absolutely no protection against it.
I sat here with all my emotions, thoughts, worries and constantly being upset. I kept wondering what I did or what was wrong with me that I didn't realize that they were actually the reason why I was so upset. It was their mistreatment of me that actually brought me down.
I've come to realize that this is where knowing your self-worth plays a big part in our lives. Because you will always come across a toxic person and you really have to set boundaries. Better yet, even remove them from your life completely. You cannot change them, they are set in their ways, and ultimately you need to decided if the heartache is worth it. In order to grow and live fully you need all of yourself, because life is far too short to be depleted by someone else.
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