You're Late! You're Late! You're Late, For A Very Important Date!

My due date came and went and still no sign of Mr. Ezra Lee. 

Why I'm Choosing Natural Child Birth + Doula

All na-tur-al: 
Women have been giving birth for centuries unmedicated. This is what our bodies were made to do and we (as women) need to trust our bodies. Seriously, it is in our genetic makeup to give birth, and to give birth naturally. I realize that I may be biased because I am pro-natural, but I feel that too many people completely overlook this option. 

Most OBGYN's are very similar, you show up to your appointment then you meet with a nurse practitioner. She then weighs you, takes your blood pressure, shuffles you into a room and then you patently wait for your doctor to make their grand appearance. The doctor comes in, listens to babies heart beat and asks if you have any questions and then sends you on your merry little way.

Baby E Is A ...

BOY!

Baby E is 14 Weeks!

14 weeks already?!

(via: babycenter)

What's going on with Baby W this week?

Baby E can now squint, frown, grimace, pee and possibly suck his or her thumb! Has a strong, whoosh-whooshy heartbeat that can usually be found pretty easily now with a doppler. It’s much faster than my own BPM (between 120 – 160 bpm), and sounds vaguely like a washing machine. Baby also is roughly the size of my fist (or a very large Georgia peach) now.

How I'm Feeling: 

• No more nauseated feelings! 
• Ah, the second trimester. Oh how I love you so, second trimester! Even though I still have a few lone symptoms of misery that haven’t yet left me completely, I do remember the unadulterated joy that comes with suddenly realizing that you totally don’t feel like warmed-over butt 100% of the time! It’s only, like, 43% of the time now! Hooray! ‘Tis a pregnancy miracle!
• Muscle aches and pains, man. I don’t remember having this many painful knots in my neck and back last time. I don’t remember my tailbone hurting quite this badly until much, much later last time — like third trimester later...
• I'm looking a lot more pregnant and feeling a little more human. Nails? Great. Hair? AWESOME. Skin? Ugh. 
• I'm still pretty exhausted, but hey! What’s that? Why, it’s my libido! I was wondering where that went. Oh hi honey, don’t you just looooove my new physique? Yes? Great, now get yo’ pants off! ;)
• Thank goodness that my girls have not grown a whole lot, instead my rear is finally seeing some action. I'm talking big booty girls! It's a Christmas wish come true! XD

Baby E Is 10 Weeks!

Baby E is 10 weeks today!

(via: BabyCenter)

Baby E is roughly the size of a kumquat and a little over an inch or so long. Baby E has also completed the most critical portion of development and has now began the fetal period. Limbs can now bend and the outline of his or her spine is now clearly visible through translucent skin.

How I'm Feeling:

• Morning sickness: Tapered off a bit now and I'm starting to feel a little bit better.

• Bloating: So my baby bump is mostly 75% methane gas at this point, but I shouldn't have to suffer because of it. Bring on the maternity clothes!

• Hormones: I am a hormonal wreck. My emotions are on a roller coaster, I can cry during commercials that seem silly to Mr. I'm a gas ball, sorry, it's the truth. It's embarrassing and I can't control it. My face feels like sandpaper, which I read that this is normal. Weird but normal apparently. However,  I would love to just have my nice soft NORMAL skin back. 

Peanut Day #2

So yesterday was our 9 week ultrasound for Baby E! I'm always excited for OBGYN visits when it comes to pregnancy, but I was seriously on the edge of my seat yesterday.

Just being able to see all the progress that Baby E has gone through in in just a few short weeks is so freaking amazing! Tiny little leg and arm buds moved and wiggled around while Baby W did a head stand the entire time and the heart beat doubled in beats from our last visit at 90 BPM to a whopping 179 BPM!

They checked my all my vitals and went over my blood work from my previous visit. Which everything was fine and normal. Baby looks healthy and I'm healthy, however we did find out that Mr.  and I do not have compatible blood types. I guess we can't have everything spot on (considering we both have the same shoe size) .

Before it was time to go, I was asked the dreaded "Do you want to get a flu shot?" I hate shots. Hate them with a burning red passion and this is someone who is covered in tattoos. I just cannot stand shots! My eyes bulged out of my head and I shook my head no while Mr. said "Yes you do!" 

I am the biggest baby when it comes to shots, I'll admit that.

I gave him the evil eye glare the entire time. It didn't seem like such a big deal after but today my arm is killing me and I'm running a slight fever. My energy is totally maxed out and I have been in bed most of the day. See? I'm the biggest baby!

Baby E is 9 Weeks!

Baby E is 9 weeks along today! 

(via: babycenter)

Big things are happening for Baby E this week! He/She is the size of a large grape and weighs a fraction of an ounce! Essential body parts are accounted for now, the heart finishes dividing into four chambers and valves start to form, as well as tiny teeth buds are forming, and that little "tail" that made baby resemble a tadpole is now gone!

How I'm feeling:

• Fatigue: I'm still extremely tired all the time. Even a simple trip to the grocery store with Mr. and I'm maxed out for the day and need at least a two hour nap.

• Constipation:: If my bowls didn't move slow before, it's like molasses now. 

• Hormones:  Do I really need to talk about this?! My hormones are running a muck with my complexion (I feel like a pubescent teen all over again) and emotions. I am an emotional roller coaster,  I'm seriously super blessed that Mr. Mason is an extremely patient man.  

• Bloating: Some days I can wake up with a flat tummy other days I look like I'm well in my fourth month. I know that with each pregnancy you show quicker but I wasn't expecting to already be in my maternity jeans. 

• Extra blood flow: With about 50% more blood volume running through my body, my body temperature is all sorts of jacked up...I'm either too hot or too cold and never a comfortable in-between.

• *BARF* Again. Still. 

• The Girls: Still small and tiny (I talk about my breast reduction here), but I've got some major breast tenderness going on. I'm hoping that the girls just avoid to grow and my butt will get bigger. I'd like to get some junk in the trunk... please?

Peanut Day & Thoughts.

Peanut Day =  Exactly what it sounds like: ultrasound day to see our tiny little peanut.

(7w2d ultrasound)

I don't think I can tell you all enough of how nervous I was for this first ultrasound. 

Here is a little truth about me: I am a constant worry wort. 

Anything that makes me nervous or is out of my comfort zone, you can always, without a shadow of a doubt, garente that I am a hot mess of worry. 

You would think since this is my forth time riding the "conception-go-round" (and the well known fact that I'm Ms. Fertile Myrtle) that I should be well seasoned by now. But truth be told, I'm not and each new pregnancy takes a tole on my nerves. 

I feel like I am experiencing "new mom syndrome" all over again with the intensely terrifying and constant worry coupled with horrible anxiety. After losing a child at 18 weeks gestation previously, it hasn't made those feelings any easier. I exhaust myself with worry because I am so terrified. 

I am utterly and horrifically terrified of miscarriage. 

Recently, I have seen so many of my peers experience this terrifying reality in pregnancy. I sit in silence as I watch their grief flow out over social media. Oh how I wish I could reach out to them, hold their hand and tell my own story and how I know their pain, but I never do. Honestly, I am still coping with that loss. I wish I could tell them reasons as to why, and that it will get better. But with truth, it's hard. It will get easier as time passes, but that's just it: we all need time to heal. In my silence, my heart breaks all over again. It breaks for them and for every single woman and couple who have had to experience the loss of a precious child. 

I lost my child a year ago and I found my comfort and peace in Scripture.  To be honest, some of these were bathed in my tears as I wept. Some were given to me perfectly right when I needed them, and some needed to work their way into my heart as I grieved. But all of them somehow, brought healing in my utter brokenness and still provide that.

"I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.  My eye wastes away because of grief, it grow weak because of all my foes.  Depart from me, all you workers of evil; for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.  The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord accepts my prayers." - Psalm 6:6-9

"The Lord is near to the broken-hearted, and saves the crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18

"Just as you do not know how the life breath enters the human frame in the mother's womb, So you do not know the work of God who is working in everything." - Ecclesiastes 11:5

"Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb?  Even should she forget, I will never forget you." - Isaiah 49:15

"We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

(Scriptures were all taken from the RSV & NAB translations)

Even with my fears, I am so glad to have the support that I do. God had blessed me tremendously this year, He has filled my life with so many forgiving and loving people. The best part is this precious gift made of flesh and bone that grows so rapidly each week inside my body.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." - Psalm 34:18