365 Project :: 2,060 Squat Challenge and Thoughts.

A 365 do over, what? Yeah ...  I'm calling a do over because I went almost two weeks of not really eating right, even though I kept my portions small I still wasn't eating the right stuff, so I'm calling a do-over!

Above is my current weight, which is 177 lbs. Yes I know, I am awful, I'm starting over AGAIN. Rome wasn't built in a day.  I just have to keep telling myself that I CAN.

This morning I've mostly stayed in the house, I had some major laundry work to do, it was to the point where the more laundry I did the thought of being a nudest wasn't really that scary. Majority of laundry consisted of my little ones belongings from piles and piles of socks. Hopefully the drier doesn't eat them again, I can't tell you how many times I've had to buy brand new pairs of socks for everyone!

I realize by the time I sit down at the end of the day, I've forgotten most of what I wanted to type about. So I'm going to star writing things down to make it much easier for me. 

So it's day two and I'm already having temptations, lack of motivation, and feeling just down right blah! But I am pushing through it, it also doesn't help that I feel so tired all the time either. I've been looking at finding myself a little 'pick-me-up' and also something to help curve my hunger and help me boost my fat burning lady power LOL! I've been reading the reviews on this supplement pill:

From what I have seen on the reviews it's really good and a lot of people have had great results on it. I don't know about the whole 'magic pill' thing, but if it will possibly boost my energy then I am willing to try it at least. But I want to do all of my research first before I just go out and buy something I know nothing about.

I'm still looking into getting a gym membership, but there are so many it's overwhelming, and do I get a calorie counting watch too? I've been looking into this little guy :

One of my girlfriends has one of these and she's always posting pictures of her progress in her workouts. And this little guy seems like it would make tracking everything a little easier for me.

I have been flowing a gym  ( that I'm looking at getting a membership) on facebook and decided to take part in their 2,060 Squat Challenge.

 Squat for a month for a super cute booty!? Heck yes, sign me up please!

I’m currently 177 pounds and I am only 27 pounds away from my first goal: 150… and only 42 pounds away from my ultimate goal weight: 135

There are so many emotions tied into this. Why? Because it’s something that I want more than you could ever imagine… and because I've seen so many people reach their goal only to put all the weight back on.

Hey, it happened to ME before! well, I didn't exactly reach my goal, but I did go from 200 to 150 and then back to 165 which I ended up staying that weight for about two years. I wish I could tell you WHY it happened though, it’s something I've never been able to figure out.

Is it because I couldn't maintain the healthy lifestyle?
Is it because I wasn't strong enough?
Is it because I didn't have support?
Is it because I stopped caring about myself?

All of these things are floating through my mind as I start to work closer to that number.

What makes this time different then the last?

I’m actually petrified! Scared to death.

I’m scared that once I reach my goal weight, I still won’t be as happy as I want to be. I'm terrified that once I get there I wont find a happy medium, I've blamed my weight on so many things in my life… and once it’s no longer an issue, what can I use to blame?!

Oh, Natasha’s unhappy? It’s because she’s fat.
Oh, Natasha has no friends? It’s because she’s fat.

Oh, Natasha never leaves her home? It's because she's fat.

You get the picture.

The worst part:  I’m absolutely terrified of letting everyone else around me down. I do NOT want them to see me fail AGAIN. 

Despite my fears and my doubts, I will not give up. I just have to have faith in myself and be brave. I am only human after all.

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Day 1: Setting Goals.

Day one of my 356 project and I'm already feeling motivated! I am excited about all the changes I am making about my life and making sure I stay healthy and happy.  I understand that sometimes I will have set backs and that I will probably will get really frustrated. But this isn't an instant process no matter how much I want it to be. If I could snap my fingers and be skinny and happier with myself I probably would have done it by now. But unfortunately I can't and I have to accept that.

One of the rules I have set for myself is that I am no longer going to say the word 'can't'. I am going to completely throw it out of my vocabulary.  No more looking down upon myself. I am no longer going to 'wish' about things. I am going to DO this I CAN do this!

So today I sat myself down and set an ideal goal of what I would like to weigh by the end of this project. I'm also going to post pictures of my progress (though as embarrassed as I am). This will force me to work even harder and to stay on track. I want to feel just as beautiful on the outside as I do on the inside.

Okay so here is my weight chart that I made to track everything. It is pretty simple I just fill in what weight I have lost until I have reached my goal weight. I  have a total of 50 lbs that I AM going to lose! I would like to be at least 30 lbs lighter by August which may be a bit of a stretch BUT even if I don't reach that as long as I'm staying on track and am trying that's all that matters. 

I think I have set a manageable goal and I have three hundred sixty-five days to do it. Though I hope to reach it sooner,  I have to stay positive no matter what and fight through this. I know I CAN do this, I've done it before two years ago, I was half way though my chart hitting 150 lbs but I don't know what happened. Priorities, stress, and other life events got in the way. But this time I will do it I will get through this!

I plan to get the babies and myself in bed by 10 o'clock tonight. And be up by 7 in the AM. Be showered and ready by 7:30 get the babes up get them breakfast and clothed and out the door by 8-8:30 and off to the park to walk. I want to walk around at least three times each morning. Somewhere in their nap time, get at least a 30 minute work out with the kettle bell. I've also talked to Jeff about maybe getting a gym membership at Court South (which they also offer free child care) or Anytime Fitness for both of us. He's expressed many times about eating healthy and losing weight. So this would be a great project for both of us to do and that could help me keep on track and focused.  :)

You Are Lovely.

Color Me RAD!

Color Me Rad 5K is coming back to Knoxville TN this Fall and I've signed up as a Captain for team Kickin' Asphalt!

Please feel free to join the team and run with us!

Day 1 | Work Out and Weight

Maybe it's just me or my scale but I feel like I've gone backwards instead of making steps forward, granted my scale is 10 year old (maybe even older) and sometimes you have to guesstimate your weight. I weighed myself today to get this weeks weigh in, and I'm at 175 ... again. Ugh talk about utter frustration!


It's been a busy week of work outs for me this week, I mapped out my plan today so I can keep up with everything.  I'm starting with the kettle bell work out at 7am each morning  (I can at least get a small work out in the AM before the kids wake up to get me started for the day). Then a little fun with hoop dancing, and talk about so much fun! You're burning 100 calories a minute, by the time you've realized an our too has passed, you've burned off at least 1k of your calories. After that we go for our family late evening leisure walk at the duck park. I usually end up having to carry one of them so not only am I carrying extra weight as I walk 3-4 miles on the track so I end up burning a little more.
I've been calorie counting like crazy this past few days with help from myfitnesspal.com I can successfully track  what I'm eating, how much etc. and if I have days where I just feel yucky I can see what I have eaten in the past that have made me feel good. 
I'll post pictures of my progress soon.  I think I'm going to invest into a new digital scale.

For those of you who are wondering the MTWTFSS are days of the week that I'm doing these work outs

MTT Kettle Bell Workout 7 am

20 1-2 reps 'meet the queen' or hockey lunge 

20 1-2 reps basket ball throw or lean 

20 1-2 reps around the world clockwise & counter clockwise 

20 1-2 reps kettle bell throw

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MTWTFSS Hoop Dance Workout 12-1 pm

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MTWTFSS Workout 8 pm

Jogging 

Running

Walking